Ode to a Sandwich Maker

I do not know Roberta. I have never met her, never even tasted her creations.

"They're masterpieces," TJ tells me. Masterpieces. Every sandwich should be so lucky.

Roberta works at Subway. Yes, Subway. At a gas station Subway in Worcester. Who'd have thought? Her turkey subs are legendary, at least to me.

It just goes to show that a good sandwich is not necessarily about focaccia, cider marinades or garlic aioli; it's about the person putting it together. Roberta would never skimp on mayonaise. To all you fancy bakeries and taverns out there-

neither should you.

It's missing Something

I am considering stashing condiments in my purse. You never know when you may need one. Case in point- the "Grilled Chicken Focaccia" sandwich of Oliver Wright's Tavern at Old Sturbridge Village. I know what you're thinking and yes, I succumbed to the convenience of over-priced museum-run dining. I do, however, have to give the Oliver Wright Tavern credit for a creative yet simplistic menu that reflects old-fashioned New England flavors and dishes while still being trendy. Still, and possilby to the benefit of this rather sparsely written blog, I couldn't afford the Guinness beef pie that I wanted and instead opted for the sandwich described as grilled chicken, fresh spinach, sauteed mushrooms and fontina on focaccia bread ($10.95).

It seemed like a safe bet, unless they managed to under cook the chicken or give me rotten spinach or something dreadful like that, and I didn't expect a place that served complimentary cornsticks with honey butter to commit such a food travesty. It was, in fact, a good sandwich, but one which garnered a jinx-worthy table remark of "it's missing something," a vague review that deserves analysis,especially since this appears to be a common problem with food in general.

"It's missing something" means there isn't anything wrong with what is there. What you're eating tastes good, but, well, it could be better. Often, the missing component is a bit of acidity, or even salt. In the case of this sandwich, it was a little more complicated. Aside from the fact that the fluffy herbed bun it was served on bore no resemblance at all to the square, olive-oil stippled bread that focaccia should be, everything tasted quite nice, and I really don't think that the words "herbed roll" in lieu of "focaccia" would have deterred my ordering of it. Between the bread (whatever it was) sat a generous piece of perfectly grilled, slightly charred but-still-moist chicken breast, fresh leaves of spinach and flavorful, well-cooked, sliced cremeni mushrooms beneath perfectly melted fontina. In short, I wouldn't have changed anything about the existing ingredients or how it was made, but it needed something more. Though it's hard to identify exactly what that something should be, the lack of any sort of spread or sauce on this sandwich seemed an obvious oversight. I think it wanted a garlic aioli, but really plain mayonnaise would have been good enough. Maybe it just needed a good grainy mustard. The point is, with just that one extra thing, it would have been spectacular. I would have licked my plate clean if only I'd had mayonnaise in my purse!...

...On second thought, maybe that's a bad idea after all.

Everyone

Perpetually in search of a good sandwich, I tend to always believe food reviews when they rave about one, and especially if multiple reviews rave about one.

Case in point- the "Boston Globe Favorite" ($7.25) at Bread and Lily in Newton Highlands (where the old Ice Cream Works used to be). Said sandwich is described thusly:

"Cider marinated and fire grilled chicken breast sliced and stacked with fresh apple and fennel slaw, shaved red onions, thyme infused mayonnaise, and provolone cheese on a tender [Iggy's] sourdough roll."

"Everyone" seems to love this sandwich, and though I don't normally believe in crowd mentality, I do like to feel confident about the food I buy. I wanted to love it too.

Unfortunately, and I can't precisely pinpoint why, I didn't love it. The bread seem not toasted enough, the cheese seemed not melted enough, the thyme mayonnaise seemed not thick enough (or there at all), the slaw... was good. It was just... not enough. The thing is, I wouldn't really change anything flavor-wise, except maybe add bacon (never hurts). The ingredients are top notch and, where possible, house made or at least locally sourced. Perhaps the problem boils down to one of construction; the creamy mayo and sweet yet tangy fennel and apple slaw played well off each other, but there was only enough mayo to hint at an ethereal pairing.

Maybe Bread and Lily is catering to an older, more health conscious crowd with slower metabolisms. Bacon and mayo aside, this sandwich would be much improved simply with a more thorough toasting of the roll, thus caramelizing its own innate sugars. Instead, a quick broil left the exterior too soft, and fluffy which, in my opinion, would only be okay if it was just out of the oven. In most cases, bread just tastes better lightly toasted, so why not? Or better yet, brush it with olive oil and press it. No one can resist a good panini.

To further my disappointment, the sandwich came with house made sweet potato chips (also loved by this anomalous "everyone"), which were surprisingly not good considering how pretty they looked on the plate and my penchant for sweet potato fries. I did, however, really like the pickle, which gave me hope. Their menu sounds so enticing. I'd love to believe it.

may as well be true to the name

i changed my mind, at least for the time being. why not just write about sandwiches? everyone likes them, at least in theory. honestly, if you're one of those people that avoids them due to their seemingly declasse-ness or carbiness and ALWAYS ignores them in favor of "fancier" things like salad or stuffed sole, you may either (a) continue reading as a learning experience or (b) go away. i don't care, really. no one reads this anyway.

now, by sandwich, i mean any sort of filling placed in between any type of bready thing. in this i include panninis (obviously), burgers, hotdogs, calzones (but not pizza), shawarma (and the like), and burritos. a chicken ceasar salad wrap, however, is NOT a sandwich, argue as you may.

admittedly, there was a time in my life when i too took sandwiches for granted. one too many boring peanut butter on whole wheat, and burnt grilled cheeses made me wary (thanks mom). but my current obsession with sandwiches can be traced all the way back to my most recent (and only) trip to paris in 2000, where something as simple as gruere shoved between a freshly baked, thickly buttered baguette proved to be 24 inches of sheer gustatorial bliss. since then i've had many an interesting sandwich, but it took years before i located another, truly euphorial one, maily because i just didn't bother ordering them.

menu items like canned chicken salad on untoasted wonder bread do not help the sandwich's cause. despite the mistaken belief that mayo and/or bacon fixes everything, a sandwich, like all meals, is only as good as its ingredients- house baked bread is a plus under most circumstances. after that, it's all about layering flavors- bread, spread, filling, vegetables or even fruit, sauce or dressing. even then, how everything is put together matters- should the bread be toasted first, does the whole thing get grilled? pressed? baked?

confused? it's not actually so hard to get right, which is why it comes as a shock when one just plain sucks. more often than not, what you get will be decent. in fact, you're probably better off ordering a basic sandwich over anything else if you're unsure of a restaurant. it's very hard to go wrong with a turkey club, for example, since both mayo AND bacon are involved, and, if you ever get served one with untoasted bread or flacid bacon, you have the right to leave without paying.

i'm looking for something better than decent though. i'm looking for god. in my sandwich.

Shawarma: Part II

Any good scientific theory requires a good amount of research to prove its validity. The proposed theory- that Bay State Bakery in Worcester, Massachusetts has the best shawarma in the universe- is itself untestable, as there is no way to taste all the shawarma in the universe. Who knows what types of delicious innovations are being wrapped up on planet Melmac?

Instead, I have begun working on a corollary- that Bay State Bakery's shawarma is better than any shawarma available in the greater Boston area, and thus worth the drive out the the middle of the state. Now, this is no small task. There seem to be at least two shawarma places in every part of Cambridge alone, not to mention migrant trucks offering similar menus. I also hate paying for and eating bad food. Luckily, I am a natural opitmist, and I'd rather not drive an hour just to eat lunch, so I am very much expexting to be proven wrong... any day now.

As a quick recap, Bay State Bakery's shawarma is perfectly spiced. It has cinnamon and allspice and stuff I can't identify but can taste right now even though I haven't eaten it in weeks. It is shaved to order, which means there is a bit of a wait for your sandwich, but guarantees the meat has an evenly, slightly crispy, juicy texture, and no gristly, oily bits. The sandwich is wrapped up in freshly baked pita layered with hummus, tomatoes, sliced onion and crunchy Lebanese pickles. The final touch is a generous dressing of the best tahini you will get anywhere and a decent stand in a sandwich press to crisp the outer layer of pita. In short, it is warm, flavorful and perfect, whether you order the beef or the chicken version (one of each is highly recommended).

With these high standards in mind, I started my mission at Fordees in Watertown, in the heart of what I lovingly refer to as Armenia land. There, beef shawarma runs about $8.75 each, at face value affording about one and a half times as much food as you'll get at Bay State (where you pay $4.99). The main difference is the size of the pita bread- Fordees uses a larger loaf. Once you dig in, however, you'll realize that bigger is not only not better, it is merely an illusion. Ounce for ounce, there might mave even been less meat in the Fordees sandwich than what Bay State stuffs into their little piece of pita. To fill the remainder of space, Fordees uses an assortment of leafy lettuce, tomato, onions and pickled turnips, lightly coated by a watery, overly lemony tahini. To accent this were some seasoned been strips. There was no meat spit in site. This was the biggest shock of all. I didn't actually think it was possible to order shawarma and not get shaved meat. The fact that the beef tasted too much of cumin is besides the point. This was definitely not shawarma. It was some bizarre take on middle-eastern inspired health food. If I had wanted a salad rolled up in flat bread with a hint of dressing, I would have ordered that.

On top of all the gustatory disappointment was the fact that the pita was cold. It is possible that hot pressing the sandwich is a Lebanese thing, but it was like zero degrees outside, and an at least lightly warmed sandwich seemed like common sense. Maybe they didn't want to wilt the lettuce.

to be continued.....

What Will They Think of Next

When it comes to clothes, my philosophy has long been based on the notion of cost being no object. I have, unabashedly, spent thousands of dollars on designer jeans, dresses, tank tops, bags, shoes, even yoga clothes. I love clothes. I especially love spring clothes. Spring is the time to be frivolous and adventurous. It is the time to wear bright colors and ridiculously high heels and dresses that are more appropriate for a children's ballet recital than real, adult life. Though March here is always too cold to wear any of the boldly ethereal garments I envision myself wearing as I float through this magical season, it never stops me from eying these clothes longingly.

So, even as I find myself cash-challenged this year, I can't help but feel obligated to indulge in at least a few items. That is, I couldn't help but feel obligated, until I looked at what is actually available. There is a lot of amazing stuff, granted. But, some items and trends have confused me so much, I feel the need to share.


First up is the sandal boot. Now, I am not opposed to the concept of the open toe boot; I like boots, I like toes, so why not? But the sandal boot is going a too far. Take, for example, this little number from LD Tuttle. What exactly was the inspiration behind this $540 design? The mud-defying gaiters of thru hikers on the Appalachian Trail? Perhaps, then, I should embrace these for their utilitarian appeal. After all, utilitarian is often ugly. Should I be wearing these shoes in a rainstorm, and find myself having to trudge through swampy mud, not only will my calves not get dirty, but my feet will get a deeply intensive, moisturizing treatment. Why didn't LL Bean think of this long ago?


Next on my list of shocking discoveries is Bing Bang's two finger ring. A two finger ring? You mean, for only $215 I can limit my dexterity and typing skills by purposely cuffing two of my fingers together with gold plate and man made crystal? Is it any two? I've never really wanted a pinky anyway. Moralists can use it around their middle and index fingers, to insure no accidental obscenities, offensive in many different cultures. There are so many possibilities with this double ring that I can't even list them here. Still though, pretty sure this one will be on sale, so you might as well wait until then.


Lastly, but certainly not last, we have what Shopbop.com refers to as "the new pant." There are over 20 versions of these, but this is my favorite. Technically these are called harem pants, but they remind me more of Ghandhi, and we all know what a fashion plate he was. Personally, I know that when i learned the word dhoti in 7th grade, my first thought was, "when will I be able to buy one?" Now, apparently. Perhaps these are a biproduct of the economic recession. Though we know our pants cost a lot, they at least look like they didn't. Hell, we didn't even get them in the right size. Besides the fact that these look ridicuously comfortable, there's also room for a diaper. Is urinary incontinance for women under the age of 40 going to be in soon too?

Mary and Roger Make Raw Granola

I do a lot of yoga. I consume granola, kombu and green juice (not together). Lately, I don't even like meat or even cheese as much as I used to. There. Now that that's out of the way, I should add that I have no intention of giving up shawarma or pizza on any sort of permanent basis. While I may feel better after a meal of brown rice, seaweed and tofu than I do after a night at Mr. Bartley's Burgers, there is nothing social, or even particularly fun about brown rice, seaweed and tofu, unless you find yourself surrounded by high-on-life (or pot) vegans.

However, I must admit to being tempted by the raw food movement. I'm surrounded by these so-called "raw foodists" every day, and am constantly bombarded with unsolicited information about how this lifestyle change keeps their skin clear and bright, makes them look younger, gives them a ton of energy, keeps them in a better mood all day, gets rid of digestive issues, and allows them to eat as much as they want while still losing weight. It's that last one that truly gets to me (I guess this proves I'm not all that good a yogi). Not that I'm fat. Just cause I like sandwiches doesn't mean I'm fat. I'm just not as skinny as I was when I was an anorexic teenager. And, according to these people, I could be, while consuming twice my body weight in avocados and cashew butter!

So, of course I looked into it.

Apparently, cooking destroys enzymes in food. I knew that already. But, what I didn't know, what raw food sites tell me, is that if these enzymes are destroyed, our body has to make its own in order to digest the cooked food. This uses energy that could be better used making us beautifuler. I didn't know this, because what I do know- that during digestion, proteins contained in food, such as those functioning as enzymes, are spliced apart into amino acids, absorbed into the blood stream, and then put back together into whatever proteins the body needs to make- seems to contradict it. Cooking denatures enzymes, meaning it changes their shape. It does not change their amino acid make-up. Therefore, theoretically, a raw almond contains the same nutrients as a roasted almond.

But, say you didn't believe that. I feel substantially different when I eat a raw apple than when I eat apple pie, so there must be something to this raw thing. There's this other theory about the body's immune response to cooked food vs raw food. Supposedly, cooked food induces an immune response and mucus production, where as raw food does not.

If that's good enough for you (I'm still stuck on the eat as much as you want and not gain weight bit), there are three very notable caveats to making this switch:

1) To truly go raw, to jump in 100%, you'll need a varied diet. You can be raw and still eat crackers, granola, even pizza (cheeseless, I assume). All you need are:
-a VitaMix blender ($400)
-dehydrator ($40+)
-Juicer ($50-$300)
-a lot of space for soaking and sprouting seeds and grains.
If all these seem like reasonable purchaces, do bear in mind that going raw isn't akin to going vegan. Vegans can eat cooked rice and beans all day. If you're raw, you're eating fresh, organic fruits and vegetables, coconut oil, nuts, seeds, nut butters, tahini, organic grains, agave syrup or honey, raw cacao beans, seaweed, and carob. In short you're eating very well. But, after one week of this, you're going to have to decide between your diet and shoes...

2) As it turns out, raw food isn't very easily digestible. Who knew? In order to stay healthy and full of energy, you shouldn't eat nuts unless you soak them over night first, and then dehydrate them in the dehydrator, about 24 hours total. To eat grains, you need to soak them for a long time, then sprout them, then dehydrate them. In short, if you start now, you can eat in about 4 days. Raw food recipes are not all so invloved, but to make anything fun like granola or crackers, you need to plan ahead. Days ahead. Maybe even a week ahead. As a spontaneous person, i find this disturbing.

3) Unless you live in LA, you're not going to be eating out very often. There are some raw food resturants, even take out places, but, never again will you get to be out, get hungry and eat at the first nice/cute place you see. NEVER. I mean, I guess you could order a salad, hold the dressing, croutons, cheese etc., but that's so 1970s.

Still, it sounds good, if you're the type of health nut that like to be the best you can be. I'm not going to point out that is its own special eating disorder. Instead, a script:

MARY AND ROGER MAKE RAW GRANOLA:

MARY: I'm hungry.
ROGER: Yeah. You know what I'm craving right now? Granola!
MARY: Mmmmm. Good idea. I'll start soaking the barley.
ROGER: I'll soak the almonds and sunflower seeds. I'm psyched!

12 hours later

MARY: Let's get the barley and sunflower seeds on the sprouting tray. I can taste it now. I love granola!
ROGER: I know. Isn't it great that we can eat all the foods we love and live the raw lifestyle? I'll dehydrate the almonds.

12 hours later

ROGER: The almonds are done. I'm gonna eat some.

3 days later

ROGER: I'll soak some more almonds.

8 hours later

MARY: Sprouts! I am on such a raw high right now! Let's dehydrate these and the almonds.

12 hours later

ROGER: Time to make granola. I need the agave, coconut oil, coconut, cinnamon and vanilla.
MARY: Let's dehydrate that baby. Smells good already.

12 hours later

ROGER: It's done.
MARY: I'm actually kinda in the mood for a fresh fruit smoothie!
ROGER: Ooh. Good Idea. Good idea.