When it comes to clothes, my philosophy has long been based on the notion of cost being no object. I have, unabashedly, spent thousands of dollars on designer jeans, dresses, tank tops, bags, shoes, even yoga clothes. I love clothes. I especially love spring clothes. Spring is the time to be frivolous and adventurous. It is the time to wear bright colors and ridiculously high heels and dresses that are more appropriate for a children's ballet recital than real, adult life. Though March here is always too cold to wear any of the boldly ethereal garments I envision myself wearing as I float through this magical season, it never stops me from eying these clothes longingly.
So, even as I find myself cash-challenged this year, I can't help but feel obligated to indulge in at least a few items. That is, I couldn't help but feel obligated, until I looked at what is actually available. There is a lot of amazing stuff, granted. But, some items and trends have confused me so much, I feel the need to share.
First up is the sandal boot. Now, I am not opposed to the concept of the open toe boot; I like boots, I like toes, so why not? But the sandal boot is going a too far. Take, for example, this little number from LD Tuttle. What exactly was the inspiration behind this $540 design? The mud-defying gaiters of thru hikers on the Appalachian Trail? Perhaps, then, I should embrace these for their utilitarian appeal. After all, utilitarian is often ugly. Should I be wearing these shoes in a rainstorm, and find myself having to trudge through swampy mud, not only will my calves not get dirty, but my feet will get a deeply intensive, moisturizing treatment. Why didn't LL Bean think of this long ago?
Next on my list of shocking discoveries is Bing Bang's two finger ring. A two finger ring? You mean, for only $215 I can limit my dexterity and typing skills by purposely cuffing two of my fingers together with gold plate and man made crystal? Is it any two? I've never really wanted a pinky anyway. Moralists can use it around their middle and index fingers, to insure no accidental obscenities, offensive in many different cultures. There are so many possibilities with this double ring that I can't even list them here. Still though, pretty sure this one will be on sale, so you might as well wait until then.
Lastly, but certainly not last, we have what Shopbop.com refers to as "the new pant." There are over 20 versions of these, but this is my favorite. Technically these are called harem pants, but they remind me more of Ghandhi, and we all know what a fashion plate he was. Personally, I know that when i learned the word dhoti in 7th grade, my first thought was, "when will I be able to buy one?" Now, apparently. Perhaps these are a biproduct of the economic recession. Though we know our pants cost a lot, they at least look like they didn't. Hell, we didn't even get them in the right size. Besides the fact that these look ridicuously comfortable, there's also room for a diaper. Is urinary incontinance for women under the age of 40 going to be in soon too?
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